Last month I was so pleased to talk to Meaghan Wray at THE KIT to offer a stylist’s perspective on revenge dressing’s new dress code.

Princess Di may have officially started the movement but from Britney Spears’ famous early aughts “Dump Him” tee to Lily Allen’s 2025 breakup album and strikingly confident press tour looks, break ups are definitely having a moment. Even Reformation, known predominantly as a bridal guests’ go-to, has entered the chat with their new Divorce Collection.

Meaghan asked me a couple questions that didn’t make the cut and I thought it was worth sharing here:

If someone asks you, “What should I wear to a breakup?” where do you start?

This is a great question. I think a breakup in someways is about reasserting power and that’s usually about leaning into what you actually want. Kinda remembering who you were before all this went down. So what to wear? Something that makes you feel powerful. You want your outfit to speak before you do so I would choose something with edge. Maybe leather, maybe a fave tee that says “I have better things to do than dress up for you.” Find a fit that feels like the best version of you. Don’t second-guess, don’t deliberate and definitely don’t worry about what your partner liked you in (or didn’t). This is about you so wear something that makes you feel unstoppable.

What silhouettes communicate confidence without looking like you’re trying too hard?

For me it comes down to how something is worn. I think any silhouette can work if you’re really feeling it. Personally, I love a bit of an undone button-up with jeans. It feels casual and like a feminine deconstruction of a (literally) buttoned-up image. You want something that looks cohesive but still feels relaxed.  A little juxtaposition can also be fun here – a band tee with a feminine silk skirt. Any time you’re letting a little of your personality come through in your looks shows confidence to me. Whether you’re a skirt girly, or a jeans and heels going out look, it’s how those pieces work together that gives it that elusive je ne sais quoi.

Is black still the ultimate breakup colour, or are we evolving past that?

Famously Princess Di wore a black off-the-shoulder mini dress post-divorce and that image literally coined the term “revenge dress” and has remained the height of revenge dressing for decades. Until Lily Allen. Last year, also post-(explosive) divorce, Allen was photographed in a barely there, almost bridal ensemble and, I think, redefined the revenge dress. Black is great. It’s weighty for historical reasons (traditional mourning garb, etc) and does make a strong, sombre statement on it’s own. But for me the real power play here is taking back who you were pre-relationship. Bring back some fun! Revenge is best served unexpectedly vibrant, I think.

What’s the difference between dressing to intimidate versus dressing to feel grounded?

I am a huge believer in the feelings behind what we wear. Psychology tells us that there is actually (quantitative repeatable!) power in what we wear and that a good outfit boosts both confidence and performance. The science is there! When I work with clients we are never focussed on how their look is going to land. That’s outside our control. What we dig into instead is how it feels. Does it feel authentic? Does it feel good? Do you feel comfortable and like the best version of you? That’s the secret sauce. Any folks that have worn pantyhose know that an ill-fitting pair will ruin your day, nevermind your outfit. It’s distracting in such a visceral way. The converse is also true.  If you have a fit that just feels good, that feels like you, it builds you up effortlessly. You can do anything! If it intimidates people that’s entirely outside your control. Dress for you. Lean into what feels good, what brings out your best and go from there.

Are there fabrics or textures that psychologically feel more “controlled” or powerful?

I love a good texture story and it is a styling technique far too often overlooked and underutilized in my experience. Rich, tactile fabrics like cashmere or silks, for instance, feel luxe and are visually complex. Light hits them in unique ways that signal something to the brain, I think. Cottons, of course, are the workhorse and backbone of much fashion. Easy care, easy to construct but rarely elevated and, with wear, can feel literally flat. Sure they can create some interesting silhouettes, for sure, but the visual impact and structure of cottons just always feel casual to me. If you’re looking for a piece that makes an impression, that exudes power, I would lean into textured fabrics that tell their own story. Silks, satins, cashmeres, angora or mohair all these fabrics have a visual complexity and resonance. Texture is one of those things that we may not clock right away but it absolutely sends a message. 

What’s one styling mistake people make when dressing for emotionally charged moments?

I think sometimes when we need to really show up, to really make an impact, we put undue pressure on ourselves which, at times, ends in a confused outfit choice. We try so hard to show up that we go against our better instincts and end up wearing pieces that are not aligned and are actually trying too hard. The horror! When we want to make an impact, sometimes we step outside our comfort zone when really we should be taking the opportunity to dig into the cuts, silhouettes and textures that make us feel our best. Clothes tell a story and you want to be in charge of that story. Find your power piece (a blazer, your perfect fit worn-in denim, the heels that make you feel unstoppable) and build from there. You need an outfit that reinforces your resolve. Don’t walk out the door in an outfit that looks confused because you will feel that. Lean into pieces that you can wear confidently, that fit, that make you feel your best so that you can give your full attention to the tough conversations rather than regretting your impluse driven wardrobe decisions. 

If this has whet your appetite for the full break-up buzz, read the full piece by Meaghan Wray on The Kit here.